My Unbreakable Habit

When I think about my habit, I always ask myself, why couldn't I be like those people who are blessed with GOOD habits, like cleaning my room (not obessive compulsively though), always putting things back where I got them, etc? Sadly, I got the short end of the stick, stuck with the bad habits that just end up screwing me over. I've been plagued with my disgusting habit ever since Kindergarden. 12 years later, You would think I'd have quit biting my nails since it's such an unsightly habit, especially for girls, but much to the dismay of my parents and myself, it has oh-so kindly stuck around.
Nail-biting, also called "onychophagia" in medical speak is commonly associated with boredom, nervousness and excitement. I pretty much do it all the time, though I think it's mainly when I'm bored. When I was really young, I used to suck my blanket. When I entered Kindergarden, many of my peers were biting their nails. I also couldn't have my blanket. I'm pretty sure this is one of the earliest examples of peer pressure's horrible effects because I started biting my nails then. While everyone else did too.
My mom always yells at me, nagging to stop since it's gross and unsanitary. You think I don't know that mom? I HATE it. I've tried everything in the book, but one, by one, they have all failed. Nail polish? It keeps the nail biting at bay for about half the day before I peel the polish off and resume nibbling. My mom took action and bought me the "real stuff" that's supposed to help kids wean off nail biting. This mirachle worker is a bottle of a non-toxic chemical that has a horrible, intense bitter taste. It's supposed to discourage anyone from putting their fingers in their mouth because of the association (finger in mouth=bad taste so stop kind of natural adaptation thing we learned about in bio). Well, I guess I'm not "anyone" because it didn't work. Although it was a little more effective, all I did was wash it off, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not like after the bathroom, and it was gone. I then went back to nibbling and the tips and picking at the cuticles. Something that sort of worked was giving up my biting my nails for Lent. It was a pretty stupid thing to give up, but I knew it was really hard so it would be a REAL sacrifice. It held up until Easter, of course. After Easter came it was back to the same old same old.
My nail biting didn't always seem that bad to me. As a little kid, it's something many people thnk of as a phase, and that their child will grow out of it in no time. I have some statistics here:

About 50% of children between the ages of 10 and 18 bite their nails at one time or another.
Great. I'm not in the minority. I was amazed at this since I don't really know that many other people who bite their nails now. I've discovered that it's quite embarassing. It's certainly not 50% around here.

About 23% of young adults, ages 18 to 22 years, bite their nails.
Excellent, I have 1 year until I'm one of the 23% of young adults. I hope I stop and join the other 77%.

Boys bite their nails more often than girls after age 10.
Yes, now here comes the whole boys vs. girls issue. I remember my softball coach once told me to stop biting my nails because of the whole playing softball in a DIRT field thing. Completely unsanitary and distracting. I pointed out that he bit his nails too. He replied that he was a boy and it was okay for boys but not for girls. I was a bit insulted, but I realized he was right. It makes me want to sit on my hands forever when I see girls with long, finely manicured fingernails, sporting a french manicure or "silver palm trees". I must say, I get extremely jealous and motivated. This motivation seems like it could propel me over this large barracade that has blocked me over all these years, but, alas, it never has come close enough. Trips to the manicurist are even more embarassing. When I went to Junior Function and Senior Prom, the lady looked at my nails and demanded, "Why so short?" in her distinct Vietnamese accent. "Not good for manicure" she told me. I smiled sheepishly and replied "I know," which has developed into my typical response to a comment about how short my nails are and how I should stop biting. I've had to use it many times.
The few manicures I've had gotten (putting on acrylic nails on my stubs of course) have actually proven to be the most effective treatement for my nail biting. The fake nails usually last for a couple weeks/month and since they cover my nails, I can no longer bite them. THey are also very difficult to remove since they are firmly attached, and trying to pull/peel them off is painful. Whenever these savior nails fall off, my own ugly ones look a tad longer and for those brief moments I am proud. It seems, however, that I have bcome so accustomed to short nails that I can't imagine life with long ones. For example. the fake nials made it extremely difficult for me to put my contacts on. I felt like I was going to stab my eye. Typing took two times slower. Everything felt so foreign. It made me realize how long nail biting has been impacting my life. I have incorporated short nails into my daily activities.

Despite these difficulties, I know that I must STOP before I end up ingesting some kind of gross tapeworm, or live my life trying to cover my fingertips. So now, a final statistic that made me smile after I read it: Only a small number of other adults bite their nails. Most people stop biting their nails on their own by age 30.
This gives me hope. It might take until I am 30, but oh well. At least I'll stop. For now, I just gotta keep on trying.